Pages

Thursday, February 25, 2016

The End To The "All Black So I Don't Look Fat"

Salam

I know how much I annoy people with my posts on instagrams.Since I could not help myself,I will constantly uploading and deleting my photos. (It is not like I upload my photos anyway,from 100photos there are only 10 photos of me :') )

So today Alhamdulillah my teammates and I successfully presented our Law 037 presentation.Actually we were quite scared and hm did not have much faith because our preparation sucks bad.The night before,we still had a lot of unfinished task.We even skipped classes to prepare for this.This kind of feeling and insecure  state of mind existed because we did bad during presentation for Law 087.I tried to act calm,because if everyone in panic mode,disaster will happen.Anywayyy I am so relieved Alhamdulillah.We are really concerned about carrymarks.

Oh let me tell you about the story of carrymarks.There was this one girl who was so carefree she did not give a damn to carrymark until she found out that 60% of cgpa will be on exams and 40% on carrymarks (presentation/tests) .Well she is  a firm believer that cgpa does not determine the successfulness of a person but she has a mother who actually gives damn (excuse my language,ibu,if you happen to read this) about cgpa.She then realise that in order to secure scholarship,she needs to have decent cgpa.So now,proudly,she gives a damn about carrymarks.

The presentation would be on 2.30p.m. and by 1.20p.m. we have just finished everything.We hadn't showered or eaten anything can you imagineee??So we were so rushed and I prayed very hard after performing solat Zuhur for everything to run smoothly hehe.At 1.53 p.m. we all went to Anjung Dengkil and postponed our plan to eat lunch "we can eat after presentation and just pretend like we are fasting".We bought candies to give to our classmates that will ask and answer questions.Our lecturer demands questions from classmates.I think she does so ,so that all of us listen to the presentation.If you ask question,marks will be added to your carrymark....so...ask questions..even stupid question...like I always do haha.

Okay let's move back to my actual story.So much distraction,I am sorry.I am a person with lots of things to say.My spouse will probably be an introvert 😱 #allofsudden

I DID IT

I DID IT BRO AND SIS

I LOOK GOOD IN WHITE T- SHIRT!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND THIS DESERVES A POST

My weight gain affected me in many ways you could never have imagined.I looked into the mirror and saw my chubby cheeks and then flabby stomach.Move downwards and there were chicken thighs.I lost confidence.Something i have never lost before,I am always a confident person.I laugh at myself and laugh at others too.

I did not want to hangout with friends.If I went outside I will wear all black (under the hot scorching sun of Malaysia....no matter how big my love for black is..my hatred towards the heat is bigger so all blacks in a no-air-conditioned-room is a big no) I got mad easily even when it was not the time of month and it was not even PMS.It was like,I was unhappy with myself and I kinda channeled the frustration to others.

Yes,girls do wear all black when they think that they gain weight.Because black is such a strong colour that makes you look slimmer and slenderer.The downside is you probably be labelled as syiah,emo,metal or even just a normal lazy girl who could not care less.And the all science thingy that darker colour absorbs more heat #proventestimony #iwontwearallblack

The biggest incident that freaking made me thought to myself HEY I SHOULD CHANGE was when I did not enjoy my family vacation.Every year my family will have vacation,it is a tradition.And man,I really love my family and being a fat and unattractive person, all I wanted was to be in the hotel and munching on potato chips.Family is something lend to you by Allah,and it is something you need to treasure the most.I will have many more events with my family - wedding,raya,eating out,shopping and family day.To do all of these happily,I have to be confident and in other words - fit.

I really hated myself,I could not decribe the disgusted feeling I felt towards myself.It was like abhorrence.And heck,the first rule to live a happy life is to love yourself.And I was not loving myself at that moment.

And it happened last year,almost for 7 months.

I never wanted to be fat and out of shape anymore...it is sucks.

Here I am not insulting,but how fat people or overweight people who used to be fit continue living in such condition?

In my case,I was extremely frustrated when I could not run like I used to anymore,I even out of breath when I took the stairs.And  the worst was when I could not fit into my favourite jeans...

Hey.

At last,I made it.

I have lost almost 10kg now.And 2 more kg to go :')

Alhamdulillah and to those in the same journey,keep going!Do not lose the pace and never never never give up.

It is very important to be confident,fit and comfortable in your own skin.Confidence is the key.When you are confident,nobody can drag you down.

Blue boleh buat,saya boleh buat.
Khadijah boleh buat,saya boleh buat.

No comments:

Post a Comment